Winter

You had said once
its only natural
to leave - never to return ..

Fragrance,  you said
in its sweet transience
fades away like
rain drop ripples
on puddled  water.

When u left
I still hadnt finished my tea
its ephemeral warmth
lingering like
a sluggish morning kiss.


You never returned

But the wintry mist returns
again
sunless afternoons 
and the wild fragrance of
white flowers


Who shall I envy now ?

I used to look for
myself in your verse

Breathe deep
the fragrance of my cologne
in the alleys of your lines
Water colour days of
brewing morning coffee
and maple leaves

noxious smoke fills
the streets now
The fresh
paint on walls and
doors smells of
turpentine
 

It has been three days
I have not looked at the mirror

Where has the silence gone  ?
I hear screams 
of a scared crumbling city

They wail in darkness

I died when love died
and noise filled
all the rain skies
Our mute oceans
of bliss

I remember the waking-up
The night fragrances 
lingering in the mist
curtains fluttering in
the breeze

I crawled out of slumber 
And you brought me tea
A moment I lived

longer than all these years

To a certain Tagore song

The slight wisp of
wintry chill was
you.
I know
I know

This is just how
you -
my dear song
of hope


relinquish
centuries old
irksome apathy

Like memories from a past life
they appear and dis - appear
strange sounds - fragrances
The nausea of starless night
wakes into the agony
of contorted lips
and wrinkled  forehead

In the rain
some of us wept

I couldn't

আজ বৃষ্টি শেষে
সন্ধে ভিজে মেঘ
ভিজে মাটি
মন খারাপ তো নয়
Just nothing happens
I yearn
and yet nothing ...

You had turned
to the other side
of the bed and

I lit a cigarette
trying to burn
the monsoon sky

I look at them
They are beautiful
The sweet smelling youth
They remind me of Lilies
fresh

Its a rainy day.
Dirty grey.

Some things shall
change
maybe they wont

Detergent powder
in slimy water
I gather foam


An eternal
flaw  rotates around
in vortices

I thought I would  write
But now I think I wont
It makes me feel
like I am talking
to You
And I dont trust you
enough
Really

There was a river here
once
you dont remember
do u ?

Now a barren
grass field


The dusk

smells of
the dying fishes
and rotting weed
summer rains

on the old terrace


Someone died.
The morning of
happy autumn


Go home
I hear the thunder
and the green grass waves
are swelling

Take the carnation
and this book

And here is the
umbrella
Go
go

There was a river here
once
you dont remember
do u ?

Now a barren
grass field

The dusk

smells of
the dying fishes
and rotting weed
summer rains

on the old terrace

Someone died.
The morning of
happy autumn


Go home
I hear the thunder
and the green grass waves
are swelling

Take the carnation
and this book

And here is the
umbrella
Go
go

oh each day
takes us further away
from 1969

I have preserved dad's
bell -bots

away away from 1969

Second Life

And all I wanted
was a cup of tea
a rain bathed sun
and a book of poems
maybe

In the gutter
they rub against me
the slimy worms
Endless
sweat and vomit
ulcers and wounds
from times
long gone

when shall
it be dawn

The rainy
the thirsty night
seeps
through the walls
and I wrap my
songs around me

You bore me
to death 
this I must tell you
I may lose you -
my favourite books
and all
I may have to walk
barefooted through
sun scorched lives

I do not fear
I stare 

into midnight
the lover -
The insomniac
white petals lay
on rippling water
wakefulness echoing 
fearless solitude

Shrimp and beer
The creepy sea
like black tar
touch their feet
and fire crackers
light up 

The tide return
at dawn
their salty jeans
dried up

old and getting older
its time to remove
Make up

Peel it off the skin
The flesh
Then crush the bones
to powdery dust

Nah

let it be the
emerald island
and blue waves

And
make me coffee
One last time

Please

When did rain
last bring rain

when did tea
last taste tea

when was I
last
my self ?

The sea breathed deep
and slept under the stars

In this blue brine
I shall float all night
and drown at dawn


Do you remember 
the silver ring

we lost somewhere

The one with the Lapis Lazuli

WHATEVER !

You dont know me
well
You being you
just this you
with your
bright eyes
and head full
of curly hair
you still
tingle my soul
WHATEVER !

I walked for miles
through miscellaneous times
and deserted wastelands

looking behind often..
checking if you were still following
Only now that I felt that
you really disappeared

I find myself lost in
a Poppy field
your fragrance in the breeze

It happened again
just now
Who brought it
I wonder

It cant possibly be
this crimson spring sun
or  youthful green
The Lilly stem
it cant be the moss wrapped stones
or  tadpoles in the puddle
it cant be you either
or the mirror reflecting me


and yet I  am
intensely happy

Some other day
you shook my hands
and left on them
the fragrance of
a childhood sea

I see you there
selling flowers
On rainy days
such as this

And the chaos
seems like a mere
predilection of an old soul

The wretched umbrella
fights the stormy gale
you smiled ?
ofcourse you didnt
Life is though 
incredibly beautiful

 

watery green day
heavy as love
 
watery brown eyes
beautiful

watery blue dusk
city lights wake up

I did Love - Really

I stared at the ripples
of spring rain
on my secret black 
pond

And watched the
little leaves
A million greens
dancing with the
invisible drops

I promised to work
if a cloud rumbled like
one of those monsoon days

But then I have
always broken promises

turn turn turn

The canvas
gathered dark clouds
and  Black eyes 
bathed in sea salt

Evening fell
a little early
and the sun
touched his
curls


barren time
whispers

this could be the end
or maybe a start

 

              (1)

Running fingers through
my hairless scalp
I breathe in another
Sunset


My "Y" has become
like the ones in
your inky letters



           (2)

You walked in wet
soaked in winter rain

you chirped
you fluttered

In my kitchen
the hissing kettle

smoked another
spring another
Monsoon

First Jan

Through  misty haze 
I gathered fragments
of a tattered me
The storm came wailing and
Blew it all and
Here I sit with a clutter of
ash half burnt

And here I love ye all
ye the desirable
ye the ugly -  ye who came
ye who went away
who loved me
and you - who didn't

I stand beautiful
under rain
The cigarette tip
still red
and till when
who cares
Between my fingers
I breathe the fragrance
of moist green grass