The night deepens

Needles of quiet rain
ripples the green little pool
Eternal waiting



-------------------------------



Winter memories
mist and napthalene
Getting colder with age

Shadows of a gloomy noon
are dancing

Spring didn't last long
It never does.

Now the moss
on ancient rock
dries into brown dust


At dusk

I drink tea with
your beautiful
eternally absent
fragrance


Fragrance of
angry-wild summer

spring didnt last long
it never does
now the

Summer rain

takes me there
where I know no one
and no one knows me 

A wakeful slumber
Till the rainy evening lights

Summer has withered so much
since last year
sighs the green
grass leaves

Winter

You had said once
its only natural
to leave - never to return ..

Fragrance,  you said
in its sweet transience
fades away like
rain drop ripples
on puddled  water.

When u left
I still hadnt finished my tea
its ephemeral warmth
lingering like
a sluggish morning kiss.


You never returned

But the wintry mist returns
again
sunless afternoons 
and the wild fragrance of
white flowers


Who shall I envy now ?

I used to look for
myself in your verse

Breathe deep
the fragrance of my cologne
in the alleys of your lines
Water colour days of
brewing morning coffee
and maple leaves

noxious smoke fills
the streets now
The fresh
paint on walls and
doors smells of
turpentine
 

It has been three days
I have not looked at the mirror

Where has the silence gone  ?
I hear screams 
of a scared crumbling city

They wail in darkness

I died when love died
and noise filled
all the rain skies
Our mute oceans
of bliss

I remember the waking-up
The night fragrances 
lingering in the mist
curtains fluttering in
the breeze

I crawled out of slumber 
And you brought me tea
A moment I lived

longer than all these years

To a certain Tagore song

The slight wisp of
wintry chill was
you.
I know
I know

This is just how
you -
my dear song
of hope


relinquish
centuries old
irksome apathy

Like memories from a past life
they appear and dis - appear
strange sounds - fragrances
The nausea of starless night
wakes into the agony
of contorted lips
and wrinkled  forehead

In the rain
some of us wept

I couldn't

আজ বৃষ্টি শেষে
সন্ধে ভিজে মেঘ
ভিজে মাটি
মন খারাপ তো নয়
Just nothing happens
I yearn
and yet nothing ...

You had turned
to the other side
of the bed and

I lit a cigarette
trying to burn
the monsoon sky

I look at them
They are beautiful
The sweet smelling youth
They remind me of Lilies
fresh

Its a rainy day.
Dirty grey.

Some things shall
change
maybe they wont

Detergent powder
in slimy water
I gather foam


An eternal
flaw  rotates around
in vortices

I thought I would  write
But now I think I wont
It makes me feel
like I am talking
to You
And I dont trust you
enough
Really

There was a river here
once
you dont remember
do u ?

Now a barren
grass field


The dusk

smells of
the dying fishes
and rotting weed
summer rains

on the old terrace


Someone died.
The morning of
happy autumn


Go home
I hear the thunder
and the green grass waves
are swelling

Take the carnation
and this book

And here is the
umbrella
Go
go

There was a river here
once
you dont remember
do u ?

Now a barren
grass field

The dusk

smells of
the dying fishes
and rotting weed
summer rains

on the old terrace

Someone died.
The morning of
happy autumn


Go home
I hear the thunder
and the green grass waves
are swelling

Take the carnation
and this book

And here is the
umbrella
Go
go

oh each day
takes us further away
from 1969

I have preserved dad's
bell -bots

away away from 1969

Second Life

And all I wanted
was a cup of tea
a rain bathed sun
and a book of poems
maybe

In the gutter
they rub against me
the slimy worms
Endless
sweat and vomit
ulcers and wounds
from times
long gone

when shall
it be dawn

The rainy
the thirsty night
seeps
through the walls
and I wrap my
songs around me

You bore me
to death 
this I must tell you
I may lose you -
my favourite books
and all
I may have to walk
barefooted through
sun scorched lives

I do not fear
I stare 

into midnight
the lover -
The insomniac
white petals lay
on rippling water
wakefulness echoing 
fearless solitude

Shrimp and beer
The creepy sea
like black tar
touch their feet
and fire crackers
light up 

The tide return
at dawn
their salty jeans
dried up

old and getting older
its time to remove
Make up

Peel it off the skin
The flesh
Then crush the bones
to powdery dust

Nah

let it be the
emerald island
and blue waves

And
make me coffee
One last time

Please

When did rain
last bring rain

when did tea
last taste tea

when was I
last
my self ?

The sea breathed deep
and slept under the stars

In this blue brine
I shall float all night
and drown at dawn


Do you remember 
the silver ring

we lost somewhere

The one with the Lapis Lazuli

WHATEVER !

You dont know me
well
You being you
just this you
with your
bright eyes
and head full
of curly hair
you still
tingle my soul
WHATEVER !

I walked for miles
through miscellaneous times
and deserted wastelands

looking behind often..
checking if you were still following
Only now that I felt that
you really disappeared

I find myself lost in
a Poppy field
your fragrance in the breeze

It happened again
just now
Who brought it
I wonder

It cant possibly be
this crimson spring sun
or  youthful green
The Lilly stem
it cant be the moss wrapped stones
or  tadpoles in the puddle
it cant be you either
or the mirror reflecting me


and yet I  am
intensely happy

Some other day
you shook my hands
and left on them
the fragrance of
a childhood sea

I see you there
selling flowers
On rainy days
such as this

And the chaos
seems like a mere
predilection of an old soul

The wretched umbrella
fights the stormy gale
you smiled ?
ofcourse you didnt
Life is though 
incredibly beautiful

 

watery green day
heavy as love
 
watery brown eyes
beautiful

watery blue dusk
city lights wake up

I did Love - Really

I stared at the ripples
of spring rain
on my secret black 
pond

And watched the
little leaves
A million greens
dancing with the
invisible drops

I promised to work
if a cloud rumbled like
one of those monsoon days

But then I have
always broken promises

turn turn turn

The canvas
gathered dark clouds
and  Black eyes 
bathed in sea salt

Evening fell
a little early
and the sun
touched his
curls


barren time
whispers

this could be the end
or maybe a start

 

              (1)

Running fingers through
my hairless scalp
I breathe in another
Sunset


My "Y" has become
like the ones in
your inky letters



           (2)

You walked in wet
soaked in winter rain

you chirped
you fluttered

In my kitchen
the hissing kettle

smoked another
spring another
Monsoon

First Jan

Through  misty haze 
I gathered fragments
of a tattered me
The storm came wailing and
Blew it all and
Here I sit with a clutter of
ash half burnt

And here I love ye all
ye the desirable
ye the ugly -  ye who came
ye who went away
who loved me
and you - who didn't

I stand beautiful
under rain
The cigarette tip
still red
and till when
who cares
Between my fingers
I breathe the fragrance
of moist green grass

30 th Dec

what ends tomorrow
and what starts the day after


I never seriously thought
That I was wrong

Until today when they
They all in a drunken frenzy


shall giggle and dance
in a circle holding each other

The slanted sun touched
me when i came

When evening gave way to night
we floated in shaded lamp light

The traveller left
after morning tea
as the pale sun rose
unnoticed behind
a rainy autumn mist
Today, I  wish to plant
a purple gerbera
beside the brick path
moss filled

Summer fades away
like the sweet smell of youth
Misty memories linger
This winter,  I promise
they shall all turn to dew

The curtains in the study
are yellow and orange now
Blue ones are gone with
the rainy months

I have preserved your
tooth brush and
the red pencil.

I don't miss you any longer
But oh ! yes
I do sometimes
miss your missing me

Fumes of charcoal smoke
fill the barren
the arid soul
Naked under winter mist
A vast expanse of grass-less land
between love and the love-less

Nothing - A dull something
tip-toes over the Sunday brunches

through library afernoons
and red wine suppers
And cities fade into
green marshlands
And rainy hills breed
Violet flowers

A mirrored room where
they dance and sing
Perfumed women and
their men
and their children
and grandchildren pink
Circles and cubes glittering

Black water gurgles through
open drains. Imagine
what would happen
if I fell
fell deep and vanished

A ladybird crawls
over the dazzling fluorescence
The TV

He loathes sleep
cause that implies a waking
and a day

The night is safe
and this sofa red
Street lights sleepless

Equidistant


just awake
waiting for tea
and

behind his eyes
chinese ink blots through
moist paper
and


he can hear
the roaring sea

The city lay tired
flaccid after a long
orgasm
You roll to
the other end
of the bed

I am not sleeping
I  am not weeping

Your smoke
reach the
clouds

Your rain aint me

Another date
puts a bunch of
these days months
and seconds
in the book shelf
of stories

The fragrance in the breeze

I am so glad
that I love.

In its pain I live
Its songs 
chime my requiem.

Why do I care
that you do
Not exist
You never did.

Evening ink seeps
through the clutter
of green thoughts


the shadows of
longings eternal

It shall be Dark soon
dark dark dark
Very dark, Very soon

The morning alarm
wakes into a shabby dawn
what day is it ?

Is it raining
like yesterday ?

the  boy is here
I can hear  his bicycle bell

but I just want to
be here with
Nothing

No news and
no people

on a day
rainy and green
a vague nausea haunts
the blue damped
walls

and a searing pain
the gutters of all time
smokes into
a mute scream

love lingers 

Is it wrong that
I was once a
coffee addict

and now

flavours of
eastern tea
enraptures me

Rain is here
Give back my
Umbrella

Or just come
Moist with
Monsoon

I promise you a
warm kettle
brewing silence

crochet made easy

Flat 27-C.
uneasy
summer choking
she woke up from
an erotic dream

nervous

sultry it has been
since the storm
last week

shower water
million pins
toes turn pale
even wrinkling

lavender blue
O doodle doodle dooodle
green apple green

cushions and jasmine
The piano teacher
loves the game of cricket
and can also sing.

April 2

With each day
the melons
ripen to rot
And each day
the aging mirror 
relentlessly seek
perfection

April 1

Summer in my room
rolls up his sleeve

Exquisite he is
whispers the
dry fallen leaf

Forgetful

Love you
I said
and yet
forgot to send
red roses on
your birthday

Before
a tired
sleep
the ceiling
is a rectangle
a mere roof
everywhere
everyday

Colourless as water I
smiled all day. But
then you say that
they have painted my face
yellow red and green.

Vivre ma vie

I shall still live
even if they dont care

cause -  barefooted as I
walked yesterday
A bunch of green grass
held my feet

              

 (1)

Spring petals turn brown

Summer sleeps on dry sand 

Songless river weeps

                

(2)

This rain like moist tears 

soaking the dry old wrinkles

laments nothingness

Came here on a wintry dawn
Today I shall depart
from this starry evening
Spring on my wings

It is  raining here
there and There.
Maybe we all have
the same stories to tell.

You left on a dull day.

There was no rain
no storm.

A red car just
sped past me

And fragrant rainbow
spilled petrol

Now that you are gone
Loving you
is so much easier.

The pale morning
sprays mist upon
the gray and green.

Let the tea kettle
hiss on -
whistle on.
Stay warm beside
draped in me.

Tearless - Awake

Yesterday you were here
And today as
the blue curtains flutter
moon light sleeps
on your bed

How much I love
Strangers
at night
Fresh flesh - skin - cologne
fresh white bed sheet -  starched
Fresh smell of orgasmic sweat
Different each one
From the rest

How much I wish
you were a stranger tonight
Old songs silver ash
like strangers we part
untouched by change.

Beach Friday

smell of dried 
fish and salt 
the grey sea
ancient basked 
under the sun

children picking
sand in little 
cupped hands
him and he 
once measured love 
using little silver cups 

I wake up tired
The first winter morning
and the chilled north wind brings
aroma of fresh belgian chocolates
in a large box full
of desires longings
and loss

Clown's Dream

Monday night he went to sleep thinking of making love to the newly wed neighbour. He was also thinking of changing the whole world by this one truly original idea and as to how incredibly popular that would  make him.
He imagined how he would pose for the photograph that would appear in the morning news paper and how he would  smile at his ex-lover during an accidental encounter at a dinner gathering.
He also thought about salvation and detachment. But then, he wanted a few more
frivolous days of worldly futilities such as these.

I chased lust
then lust chased me.
Smoked an angry cigarette
against the wall with
lewd graffiti

It was the Flu I think
that made me pale
as wax.
The lover stood beside
the bed
lentil soup with garlic and
pepper I had asked.

I was restless
Desiring a green
open ocean
as the sweat soaked
bed sheet gathered
million crease marks.

The large juicy leaf
of the money plant
turned yellow in the
beer mug.
November yet to come.

In the morning I think
they played Chopin's Nocturnes.
Maybe, the Vampires
danced in the sun.

Read a few selected
pages of the book
that described in
a few pornographic lines
acts of carnal love.

This book, like a brick
supported the left edge

of the shelf.
Someone who borrowed it
long ago
had rounded the corners..

Suddenly then
a renewed hatred
and utter discomfort

After lunch
a few hours of
disturbed sleep
and television news..
I could hear children
playing football
in the park.

Yesterday
I recovered.


Smoked.
Brushed.
Had coffee
and got a little cut
near the lips
while being narcissistic
during  the
clumsy shaving act.

Today I cleaned my desk
and washed the old
flower vase.
The sun is bright outside
and I have
so much work

Yellow Chrome of the
betel leaf face
and Kohl painted large
slanted eyes
disppeared
under the opaque
grey water

Only orange flowers
floated amidst the
quiet whirlpool

And then they returned
with ther drums
seeking assurance
that the world would
be the same
Next year

Somewhere here
stood a tree

He knew the name
that I forgot

The tree is dead now
I think  and

This place has
gathered years of rust

they lit up chandellier
in thousand light
and the incense smoke
fills the sky




chandellier
incense smoke

Fragrance of Chhatim
intoxicates
the lonely walk through
Evening mist

The heart conjures
the dead tears
and the Shehenai
weeps behind the veil
of lamp-lit streets

Diego played the Accordion
Ming served coffee  hot
I read my Evelyn Waugh
and the world around revolved

The more you  drowned
me in wine
The more I swam
through the black ocean
of your eyes glistening
I am, but one fish
Oh! Lets just sink

When the owl hooted
and crickets shreiked
book finished
I went to sleep

All night under moon
silent tears fell like dew
At dawn they parted

Tired day, parted hair
Sly rain made my
white shirt wet
and everyone stared

September is gone
I drink my morning coffee
listening to dawn

Pearl of her ear-ring
then slipped down black satin
Lost in green grass field

Fog hazes street lights.
sudden North wind
chills the boy
sweeping fall's  last leaves

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!


Its winter again
woolen scarf
orange yellow
This snow shall melt too


!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

        (1)

Spring rain
sudden green.
Yellow moth seeks shelter
under money plant leaf.



        (2)

Slimy moss -
dark blackish green.
Large fish chases tadpole
fisherman sings.



         (3)

Sea waves green
bottles of wine
Sick little girl feeds fish
Green aquarium

A dust storm
from arid land
once, long ago
plunged upon
her green groin
and a Lily
was born


The cemetery
now crumbles
into dust
and disappears

like a childhood
city where
rain never stops
for a second
Ever

I want to tell you
just one thing

Not now though

let it linger  till
spring paints the
field with green

But then, you would
by then
know it all

*******************************


As he died, his first love
stood loveless
near the bed
Then she returned to work

Steaming tea kettle
whistles autumn songs.
Ailing lover dreams

#############

They made love
without undressing
warm winter dawn

#############

Spring flowers
pillow prints fragrant
lavender evening shower

#############

Last puff of
cheap smoke.
The silver djinn
dies
against the taxi
head light -

Anonymous

Against the wall
dirty
large shadows -
their nose, elbows
and knee joints

the bud
the boots
smashed

shadows of them
and us

The alley turns
into the city
lights
and sunny beach

where tomorrow
sunday
fathers and children
will build
sand castles

The smoke from
ciagarette
lit up and vanishedanonymous cab
went past

Do the brown leaves of autumn
still fall behind this wall ?
Do the gypsies ever return ?

Escher's floor plan

Which came first
intoxication
or sleep ?

your sketchbook
lay on my chest
like a moth
now Dead

and in dream
I ran through an
enormous maze

where is the
music room?
our
hidden solace..

Dried bay leaves
one or two
crackle into
fumes

and the

Large brown snail
stays still
against the
moss

Such pretty flowers everywhere.
Emerald oceans and
such azure skies

Lover melts in embrace
like chocolate
whispering poetry of
summer storms
and autumn nights

How tough it is to create
when  nausea of happiness
shrouds the soul
frozen fingers
numb to write

He fell asleep under the
flickering candle flame..

Thinking ...
he will start writing

when his heart is heavy with love
or, when the next big war
breaks again.

Why ask me
to wake up - work
and get things done ?
I will drink tea now
and play flute
in the evening

Pekoe Orange
Purple dusk
Flaming desire
Fuming love

Lover's arm
Lotus stem
Souls dissolve
Summer rain

Midnight calm
Moonlit skin
Silent sounds
Songs breathing

A dull September
brings rainy fragrance
of winter nights
and moist
passageways.

On my way home
hiding a loaf of bread

when - under
the neon sign blue

they spoke so much

And i had nothing to tell.

This is my usual journey
The Express train
Tedious - and regular
evoking vague nothingness for
Two Hours.
The page of a book
cheap milky coffee
potato chips
and gazing into nowhere.

Today an Angel like Beauty
sat so dreadfully close 
And didn't even look at me
once during all those boring
hours - Empty

The silly one-act play
As the profane sadly woos 
beauty - in Vain
A fantasy oozing
lust and bad taste
and ofcourse as
all tragedies end
in another death

These days all my nothings
are being filled with sadness
and restless intoxication s
flooding from everywhere
relentlessly
in this soul less suburbia